


A Name is Earned

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Introspection, Past Lives, Revelations, Secrets, and certainly didn't want, both had hidden names that they didn't know about, this is just talking about how molly and yasha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-26
Updated: 2019-05-26
Packaged: 2020-03-17 14:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18966973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: In a lonely tavern in Zadash, a purple tiefling comes face-to-face with a past he did not know and a name he did not want and the reality that he might not want to know who he used to be.In a busy Apothecary in Rosana, a gentle giant is forced to admit that her past has some darkness and that the name she was called has nothing to do with the person she is or wants to be."My name is Molly, not Lucian or Nonogon or whatever the fuck.""My name is Yasha.  Orphan Maker is not what I choose."





	A Name is Earned

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a short little fic that I whipped up in a panic because the two fics I was working on for a different fandom were called out on another fic about me being too similar and following the same vein and doing everything the same no matter what, so I just changed it up and because I don't have any favouritism in my CR fics (I didn't think I had any in other fics, but you know), I just thought I would throw this together. I hope you enjoy it and that I didn't fuck up too bad haha. (I don't remember where this went down so I just did my best and put them in the only place I know they went to off the top of my head and also no, the dialogue is not accurate. Sorry)
> 
> Yes, the Fjord thing that I put in there WILL GET A SEPARATE FIC so don't worry, you don't need to ask me for some clarification or explanation, it's coming)

“My name,” he said, fists clenched at his sides and teeth grit, lips twisted into a snarl and eyes blazing bright with an intensity that was both familiar and unsettling. “Is Mollymauk. Mollymauk Tealeaf. Not Nonagon or Lucian or any of that other bullshit. I’m Molly.”

Nott tried to talk him out of it, convince him that his past was worth knowing and his memories worth searching for, but just like he did with everything he believed in, Molly stood firm in his decision, with his chin raised and his tail flicking rapidly against the floor.

The room rented from the Leaky Tap was not at all the right place for such discussions but Jester’s spell pulled at Molly’s lungs and heart and words and forced the truth past his lips despite the pure evidence that Molly wanted to do the exact opposite. Standing in the centre of the room, Molly looked like the picture of the so-called god that the black tabaxi from the Evening Nip described him as, and just as angry.

Fjord, with all the tenacity of a leader and the grit of some poor kid who didn’t know what he was doing but knew for sure that he was way over his head, tried to mediate the situation and make a path that was better for both parties. “Well, with this new knowledge, what do you want us to call you?”

“My _fucking name,_ ” Molly’s voice was thick with malice.

Yasha could see that in the far corner that Jester, despite being the cause of all that was happening, had her hands clasped over her mouth and her wide eyes shining with unshed tears and beside her stood Beau, that tilt to her lips and grip on her staff would be customary if it wasn’t for the way her eyes shone like uncut diamonds. But surprisingly, it was Caleb who spoke, quiet Caleb who stood at the end of the room with his fingers in his cat’s fur and who was watching the way Molly moved around anxiously across the room as if he understood. “Well, Mollymauk, that is good enough for me.”

“Of course it should be!” Molly erupted, the calm before the storm forgotten and his eyes glowing a red-hot fury. “Why is this even a discussion? My name is Molly and that isn’t going to change no matter what whack job tells me differently.”

“You don’t even want to know about your past?” Nott interrupted, still unconvinced. “You don’t even want to know who you were before, who you left behind? What happened to you and why you woke up in a grave? Why you have no memories?”

Molly’s tail was swishing against the floor in agitation and Yasha wanted nothing more than to wrap him up in her arms and make that cornered look in his eyes go away. “No, I don’t give a fuck, because that was some horrible stranger who got himself killed. That wasn’t me and it never will be. Here, _now_ , I am Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to my friends, and there is nothing anyone can say or do to change that.”

She would never admit it out loud, but Yasha understood.

* * *

 

“Orphan Maker?” Jester repeated eyes wide with unsubtle fright and her hands clasped at her breast. “Did you, like, kill some people’s parents and stuff to make them orphans?”

Behind her, Fjord flinched and lowered his head, and Yasha continued on, ignoring him as much as she was able. “No,” it was an easy answer because as far as she knew, it was the truth, “No, it is a name we are all given when we join the tribe to make other tribes and outsiders fear you before they met you. It doesn’t really mean anything, and I never took it to heart.”

From where she was supposed to be keeping watch, Beau kept sneaking chaste glances at her, mouth half-parted like she wanted to say something but eyes guarded like she was too afraid to. Caduceus took a break from cutting the heads off of the recently deceased to turn to Yasha and the little huddle she had gathered. “I think that it’s completely understandable that there are certain names that you don’t feel like you have bonded with, and if you don’t feel like that is a name you wish to be called, then that is entirely acceptable too.”

Yasha bit her lip as Fjord finally turned away completely and took over Caleb’s place from where he was questioning the owner of the Apothecary, removing himself from the conversation fully. Caleb potted over with Frumpkin over his shoulders to replace Fjord in the corner. Beau, having given up on keeping watch, hoped down from the window ledge and leant against the wall. “I mean, Orphan Maker has a kind of badass ring to it, you know?”

There was something heavy in the pit of Yasha’s stomach, something familiar and unnerving, and she remembered back to the Leaky Tap and that dingy room so many months ago and pondered _I wonder if this is what Molly felt when we were questioning him about his past._ Caleb finally spoke up, “Well, what would you like us to call you?”

“Yasha is my name and it always has been, and I have never had any inclination to change that,” Yasha said. “If you do not mind, I would much rather you continue to call me Yasha than any other name, especially more than Orphan Maker. Um… it wasn’t really used much and nobody outside of my tribe should know it, so it is unnerving that this drow seemed to know who I was and called me by that name. The tribe… that is a time in my life that I wish to forget.”

Satisfied, Caleb nodded, and his eyes glazed over a vibrant blue as Frumpkin leapt off his shoulder and disappeared into the darkness of the shop’s corners. Nott, however, tugged at the hem of Yasha’s cloak and glanced up at her face with big round eyes. “Orphan Maker is so fucking scary though! Don’t you want to strike fear into the hearts of anyone who hears it? Don’t you want to make them shit their pants?”

Chuckling, Yasha reached down and ruffled Nott’s hair, who scowled and swatted Yasha’s fingers away. “I don’t know about you, Nott, but I think I can accomplish that without announcing my tribal name to everyone we meet.” Jester beamed up at her and Nott nodded in agreement.

Caduceus was still looking Yasha up and down, almost with new eyes, and eventually smiled that languid smile of his that made you feel like everything was going to be alright. “Well, Miss Yasha, I am quite alright with that decision. I like it much better than ‘Yashi’, anyhow.” Nott glared at him. “But I feel as though we can all support you in whatever you chose.”

“Thank you, Caduceus,” Yasha said honestly, still very aware of all the pairs of eyes on her, and all the unwanted attention she was receiving. Jester had that big, cheeky grin on her face that Yasha knew could only lead to trouble and Beau had an impressed smirk on her lips and Nott was staring up at her like she was the only light in the world. Fjord was still carefully ignoring the entire conversation. “It means a lot.”

And as everyone fanned out and went back to whatever it was that they were doing before, Yasha couldn’t help but think of Molly and the tiny room with the wood-panel walls and the two tiny beds and the anxious tiefling pacing in the middle of the room and once again her heart went out to him. She wished he could be there with her, holding her hand and egging her on, but Mollymauk Tealeaf was dead, and there was no one else she could talk to about the meaning of names.

Nobody else would understand, not even Caleb with the name he chose to hide away from hunters or Nott who swapped her name for one that matched her body until she was ready to take up her mantle again or Jester who chose her name because her own did not match her personality and what she thought of herself.

Molly would appreciate what it was like to be different and to embrace your difference until it was a foundation for the building blocks of your life that you built upon it, and that ‘Mollymauk Tealeaf’, was as different to ‘Lucian’ as ‘Yasha’ was to ‘Orphan Maker.’ Maybe that was why they got along so well. Maybe that’s why Yasha still felt like there was a piece missing in her soul

(And most importantly of all, he would defiantly admit it out loud, because Molly had always understood.)

**Author's Note:**

> To the Campaign 1 Critters, let me know if you caught my tiny reference- it's nothing big, not even a spoiler for you who haven't seen the first campaign, but some of you will get it x


End file.
